I am having the weirdest week right now. After I posted that Jesus Q and A and I went to bed, I suddenly heard this loud cacophony. I naturally assumed that it was my noisy asshole neighbors and rolled over to go back to sleep but then I realized that I don’t think my asshole neighbors would be playing angelic symphonies opposed to their regular Fifty Cent. I decided to open my eyes and I was sitting at the desk of the tonight show and I was looking around and saw that angels were sitting in the audience of an auditorium that had no end. There was a million of these fuckers, every where you turned it there were angels working cameras, drinking coffee, even saw one in the dressing room doing lines of coke. As the cacophony stopped I saw that this man sat across from me with white hair and a soul patch (one of those patches of hair under the bottom lip, kinda looks like Hitler standing on his head). The man was well dressed, he had on a purple double breasted suit, and he kinda looked like the white Prince almost. This had to be God. Well he sat there smiling and waving to the angels while I sat dumbfounded. Then he turned to me, leaned forward and said “It’s time you posted my side of the story.” So ladies, gentlemen, and drag queens it’s time for another round of Q and A.
RC: Well God it’s certainly a pleasure to finally meet you.
G: Please, call me Dad.
RC: Well, okay Dad. So the question on everyone’s mind is do you really exist?
G: I’m sitting across from you, you dumb ass.
RC: Uh, right. So do you think its good to be calling the people who are trying to believe in you dumb asses?
G: Don’t you talk to me like that you little shit, you didn’t believe in me for a year and now you don’t recognize me as a person. Fucking agnostics, at least the atheists have the balls to not believe in anything, you agnostics want the best of both worlds. Friends with believers and atheist because you’re the middle ground. Make up your mind for once you little shit. Oh and if you talk to me like that again I will break your kneecaps, and trust me, you do not want a divine being to break your kneecaps.
RC: Wow, I just felt your wrath and lived through it.
G: Yes, I know I have gotten better about not laying waste to entire cities and killing first borns. I was forced into anger management by the heavenly choir, they had an intervention and I checked into rehab.
RC: Wait rehab?
G: Yea I was an alcoholic and used pot sometimes. I mean look around this world sometime, the platypus, the wooly mammoth, and day time TV. I was either stoned or very drunk while making these things, I mean who in their right mind would create such things?
RC: Yes, I’ve been meaning to ask you about the names for these animals, did Adam really name them all?
G: Well he came up with names for them that I didn’t use for that animals, I kinda censored some of the names or used them for other things, or used them as a nickname for that animal. Like the rooster for instance, he wanted to call it cock but I had to sit down and explain that he can’t call it cock. Well he was stubborn so its called a cock sometimes. The goat was going to be a Flibbitygibbit.
RC: Wait you censored Adam? Doesn’t that go against free will?
G: Don’t talk to me like that, I created the damn thing. I can take artistic liberty with it whenever I want.
RC: So I was wondering, what came before you?
G: Well, I..I never really thought about it.
RC: You mean you never thought that there was something even more powerful than you that winked you into existence?
G: Well no, I mean, AAHHHHH!!!! I AM THE ALPHA AND THE OMEGA BITCH!!! I’M THE ONLY ALL POWERFUL BEING!!!! I’LL KICK YOUR ASS!!!!
Well a scuffled ensued, and I must say that for an all powerful being he’s a bit of a pussy. The dude went down with one punch, pfft. Well he said I would be damned to the deepest depths of damnation for all eternity. Obviously he doesn’t know his flock well enough. Peace | 
